Screw the Roses
By Kevin Robinson in Miscellaneous on Mar 16, 2007 2:30PM
Early last week we had the opportunity to sit in on a class at Early to Bed. The Edgewater shop offers a variety of workshops and events, ranging from basic (Flirting for Nerds) to quite advanced (How to be a Dominant Woman). We had the good fortune to sit in on An Introduction to BDSM, a workshop taught by professional dominatrix Mistress Crimson.
We were a little unsure about how it would feel to be a single guy attending a workshop like this one. In fact, we really had no idea what the crowd would be like. We know that people in the BDSM community are not how they are often portrayed in the media, but we couldn't help but wonder what kind of people would show up at a workshop like this. After we had arrived, checked in, and took a seat, we had a look around the room, and by and large the participants looked like the north side — different ages, races, orientations and genders were represented. This was clearly an older crowd, with the median age being early thirties.
Mistress Crimson started the discussion with a very frank talk about safety, emphasizing that different people have different notions of comfort, safety and trust. She stressed the importance of exploring this fetish slowly, starting off with simple games (such as spanking and light bondage) and progressing to a point where everyone is comfortable with what scene is being played. She talked about the importance of safewords, (freeing you up to say "no" and not really mean it) and of talking to your partner first, especially if you are going to play a scene that might bring up psychological aspects that have the potential to hurt your partner's vulnerabilities. Dealing with new roles in a relationship can be tricky, and great care should be taken to make sure that you are secure, open and honest with your partner as you embark on this journey.
When the topic of S&M comes up, most people think of pain. But the true pleasure of the experience comes from the mind. Mistress Crimson spent a lot of time discussing the various ways that you can incorporate BDSM into your daily sex life. Many people associate BDSM with rope, leather and paddles, but the simple fact is that there are many ways to dominate and punish your partner with simple household objects. Spatulas, hairbrushes, clothespins, rulers and candles all have an erotic role in the creative sex life, and can even lend themselves to some pretty hot scenes.
If you are interested in learning more about Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism (or any combination thereof), you would be well served to take a course such as this one, as well as to do some reading on your own. If you are a bit more experienced, or want to get out there and get your hands dirty, there are a few events around the city, including Bondage a Go-Go every Thursday at Exit, and monthly events hosted by Naughty Spot.
Every Rose Has Its Thorn by vokaris.