The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

This Week in Stupid

By Matt Wood in News on Mar 16, 2007 2:31PM

chicagosit_200703_chase.jpgPolice chases don't always end well (that guy in the picture does not look like he's having fun), but this week we found a few fast-moving suspects who lived to tell an entertaining story:

An accused child molester from Racine, Wis., was in court last Friday because he cut off his electronic monitoring ankle bracelet so he could appear on "The Jerry Springer Show" last fall. Mario Sims, 21, had been out of jail on bond awaiting trial on 2004 charges of child enticement and sexual assault of a child when he cut off the bracelet and took a limo provided by The Springer Show to Chicago. He was on the show because he wanted to marry his baby's mama, who, of course, was also his half-sister. (Thanks Dan!)

A 26-year-old Chicago woman was in federal court this week after her attempted robbery of a LaSalle Bank in the Loop went wrong. Phelicia Van walked into the bank and handed the teller a note demanding money, and then when she tried to leave, security guards trapped her in the revolving door.

Finally, on Tuesday, a Valparaiso teenager was clocked driving 93 m.p.h. in his Mustang (badass!). He told the policeman that he was driving that fast because had gone to buy an energy drink and didn't want to miss the school bus.

Remember to send your tips for This Week in Stupid to Matt at You'll get the glory of seeing your name printed in italics after one of these items.