We Like it Better When Office Pools Win

By Alicia Dorr in Miscellaneous on Mar 26, 2007 6:13PM

Oft-times it is considered American to work hard in order to get ahead. That's a nice idea, like Habeus Corpus, but what's really more American nowadays is to win the lottery. So what's the most un-American thing you can do? Win the lottery and then keep working anyway.

That's what Diana and Frank Hinz in southern Illinois say they are going to do, despite the 1.2 million taxpayer dollars they will net. It's all well and good that you want to retire quietly, replace your roof and go to the theater more, Hinzes, but can't you flaunt it just a leeeetle bit? For instance, you said you wanted to get a new car — well, can't you get a limo or a Humvee or something?

Winning the lottery is the most "I'm heading to America where the streets are paved with gold" dream ever and you're going to keep working your second shift job at the Hydro-Gear transmission factory? It's honorable, sure, but come on!

So, of course, you're going to live off the money you already have and invest the rest, where, after you die, it will go to your heirs without any more taxation.

...Come to think of it, Hinzes, that's actually exceptionally American. Well, never mind about all this, then. Do us proud.

Image via Lambdapsiphi.com.