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Yes, Your Barista Does Hate You

By Laura Oppenheimer in Food on Mar 29, 2007 8:00PM

Oh, Starbucks. It is so easy to hate on you with your taking over the world ways, weird sizing (tall=small) and Norah Jones CDs. So very easy to hate. Which is why we were barely surprised to learn that you hate us too!

What was originally a rant on Chicago Craigslist (but has since been taken down) was posted on the Starbucks Gossip Blog and then picked up bySlashfood. The rant covers all the standards — don't talk on your cell phone when ordering, don't correct the way I shout out the order, etc — but does so in a particularly nasty tone. For example:

SKIM MILK is the same as NONFAT MILK. Do not order a “skim nonfat latte” – it’s redundant. Similarly, don’t say that you want a “grande skim latte” and then correct me when I call out “grande nonfat latte.” You bitch.

Or another choice morsel:

Don't come in wearing a floor-length fur coat and, when asked if you need a bag for your purchase, say no because you want to “save some trees.” Please save me the forehead bruise.

Don't hold your two-year-old up to the pastry case and ask him to choose something. Grown men (well, stupid grown men) are struck dumb by the variety at times; no toddler will be able to work out what he wants in under three days. Select something for him and move on.

Yikes! It looks like someone needs to either tone down on the caffeine or start drinking coffee like it is going out of style (we aren't sure). The comments on the Starbucks Gossip Blog from other baristas seem to indicate that not all Starbucks employees hate the people who come into their stores looking for their daily fix.

But at least one in Chicago does. Be careful the next time you order a venti-double-nonfat-vanilla-machiatto, that is all we are saying. You never know who is serving you.

Image via Recruiting Toolbox.