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This Week in Stupid

By Matt Wood in Miscellaneous on Mar 30, 2007 7:07PM

chicagoist_200703_manning-sprint.jpgMan, you just can't fool anyone anymore. Try to skip out of jail using someone else's name, rob a bank with an initimidating T-shirt, or change your name to that of a famous football player, and someone always stops you. Plus, your damn five-year-old cousin won't stay out of the way when you want to audition for Girls Gone Wild. Aaaargh!

On Tuesday, two sisters from Sheboygan, Wisconsin were charged with disorderly conduct after taking topless photos in front of a five-year-old boy, a relative of theirs. One of the women says they were just taking sexy pictures to send to her boyfriend, but the boy appeared in some of the photos and may have even taken one. Uh, ladies? Pictures of five-year-old boys are not sexy, and if your boyfriend thinks so, then you have bigger problems than this.

An inmate at the Lake County Jail escaped Wednesday by using the identity of another inmate with the same last name. William Smith, who is facing heroin dealing charges, pretended he was Kevin Smith, who was due to be released on bond. Apparently no one thought to double-check before William, who is five inches shorts and weighs 80 pounds less than Kevin, walked out of jail, taking Kevin's personal property with him too.

Also on Wednesday, a man walked into a Michigan City, Indiana bank and asked to see the manager. He showed the manager his T-shirt, which had an image of Al Pacino from "Scarface," and demanded that he write him a check for $10,000. The manager refused, gave him a loan application, and the man left. Police didn't file charges because they can't decide if he was trying to rob the bank, or was just a weirdo.

And finally, we can all rest assured that at least one repsonsible adult is left in the world to save people from their own stupidity. This week a judge in Decatur ruled that the Bears fan who promised to change his name to Peyton Manning after the Super Bowl couldn't do it, because it would be confusing and infringe on the privacy of everyone's favorite new SNL cast member.

This Week in Stupid will be on hiatus for the next few weeks while Chicagoist heals from all of our self-inflicted injuries and clears up all our court cases. Stay tuned.