Welcome Back to This Week in Stupid

By Jocelyn Geboy in Miscellaneous on Apr 13, 2007 7:07PM

Welcome back to This Week in Stupid. TWIS went on a brief hiatus, but we'll be back every Friday to wrap up the week's most ridiculous stories of critters, crime and confusion. Forgive our brevity today, we're just getting back into the swing of things. This week is a hodgepodge of hair, shoes and ... honesty?

• While the corruption in the Chicago Police Department seems to broaden with each passing day, cops in Wisconsin seem to be vying for sainthood. Brown County Sheriff Dennis Kocken wrote himself a ticket when he hit a driver using an unsafe lane change. He said it was the right thing to do and fully intends to pay the $160.80 fine. Back in September, Chief Dick Knoebel of the Kewaskum police department wrote himself a $235 ticket for passing a stopped school bus. OK, then? But we'll take the nerdy cops over the psychopaths any day.
• If you need to run away from a nasty officer, you might want to turn to this man once he gets out of jail. Nigerian born 27-year-old Chukwuemeka Ebelchukwu was charged Monday with violating trademark laws after police seized more than 13,000 pairs of counterfeit Nike gym shoes. We are always astonished at the balls people have when committing crimes. OK, you're selling counterfeit shoes. How about 1,000 pairs? 2,000? But 13,000? Why? Because "Nike would not sell to him and because there were other businesses in that area selling legitimate Nike shoes and it would have been too much competition." Of course. If you can't beat 'em, fake 'em.
• ... Or just rob 'em. A south side man was accused of robbing his barber this week when he got a shitty haircut. Hmm. Interesting move. After a crap haircut, Chicagoist has just either gone around for two weeks and bitched, or gone out to the car and cried. We never thought about trying to forcefully get our money back. Lon McLendon did, and it was really worth it — he got $20. Wow. We bet that $20 is so going to be worth the jail time.

"dork04" by arycogre