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Empty Out Your Wallet

By Julene McCoy in Arts & Entertainment on May 11, 2007 7:29PM

We don’t want to be stuck inside today, but there are no baseball games to sneak off to this afternoon. Instead, we will ponder where we could spend that paycheck besides the usual beer gardens and brothels.

We haven’t seen Bumpus play live since Rachel Yamagata left to forge her own path. From the sound of things we 2007_05_kellyclarkson.gif need to get back on the funkwagon. Contriband, a Chicago experimental hip hop group, and Doko Benjo, an 8-piece funk band, open up this good-for-the-pocketbook show.
June 1, Metro, $9, 18+, on sale Saturday at noon

Hopefully, there are still tickets left for this show at Schuba’s since we haven't had a free second to buy them. Tom Morello brings his One Man Revolution to Schuba’s with a show in July as The Nightwatchman. Tom sure is busy this summer wowing festival crowds with the Rage Against the Machine reunion and with this tour as his alter-ego, The Nightwatchman, keeping us informed one small venue at a time.
July 11, Schubas, $16, 21+, on sale now

We have to include Kelly Clarkson because every time we see her name in print we can only hear Steve Carell screaming it while getting his chest hair waxed in 40 Year Old Virgin. Plus, she does have some damn catchy tunes that you can dance to. (Right, Chicagoist ladies?) I’d give it an 82, Mr. Clark.
July 29, Allstate Arena, $49.50-$79.50, all ages, on sale Saturday at 11:00 a.m.

We still haven’t thought of how to make our escape from the Chicagoist offices this afternoon without anyone noticing. Any good excuses for sneaking out early?