Avert Your Eyes, Little Billy
This one’s dedicated to those out there whose main form of exercise revolves around a slick, shiny pole. No, we’re really not talking about anything relating to Chris Nieratko. … Well, maybe in an indirect fashion. Earlier this month, a funky new health club opened up in the West Loop. This wasn’t just any club, however. This was a club for the ladies. Flirty Girl Fitness at 1325 W. Randolph offers a range of salacious yet butt-kicking classes, from cabaret to striptease to Coyote Ugly (yes, we know) to yogalates (we take ours with skim). Lots of health clubs offer such modified courses nowadays, but Flirty Girl has two immediate distinctions: 1. it’s for women only; and 2. the City Council has lifted their moratorium on liquor licenses to allow onsite martinis after workouts.
It’s that last point that’s raising a bit of a stink. Kelly Pucci was in the neighborhood and noticed the new club, which opened last Wednesday. Flirty Girl piqued her interest, but not in a good way; more like the “enemy in one’s crosshairs” kind of way. Her alarm stemmed from the fact that gyrating girls and wanton women would now be right next to the Montessori Academy of Chicago, where Pucci’s 18-month-old grandson goes to school. Furthermore, they could now get sloppydrunk and sun themselves in bikinis right next to children. Oh, won’t somebody think of the children?? Normally we'd say "Pshaw, like kids would see anything anyway. They'd be home before the bumping and grinding even began." But Montessori goes until 6:30 p.m. (!), so there's the chance for overlap of early evening classes.
Before you get all verklempt, know that distributing liquor licenses to places of business within 100 feet of a school, library or house of worship is against the law. The twist is that even the Montessori Academy’s head director, Fosca Shackleton White, doesn’t consider the establishment a school. According to her, it’s more of a day care center for kids ages 6 weeks to 6 years. Another thing is, the liquor license hasn’t been granted yet; a public forum will be called so that neighbors like Pucci can vent. Only then will Montessori’s function be discussed. White herself is supportive of the new girl in town. After all, Flirty Girl offers discounts to mothers who have children at Montessori. And not to stir the pot any more, but Pucci’s grandson is just the right age where he can really appreciate the art of pole dancing.
Image via Gizmodo.com.