People are Absolutely Nuts, Vol. IXI!
By Alicia Dorr in Miscellaneous on Jul 26, 2007 6:07PM
When it comes right down to it, most people are bad neighbors. They are selfish with parking spaces, they erect fences between one another's equally average property (it's not as if you're going to strike oil on your side, buddy) and they will rarely buy something from your child, unless it's Girl Scout cookies.
But the way people are going on and on in suburban Aurora about some damn tree takes it to a whole new level. Residents of the Stonebridge subdivision seem on the verge of taking up arms against Robert Ballou for taking down a pine tree near his home. People in the community say that he drilled poison into the tree because it was obstructing his view of the community golf course's 9th green. He says the tree was already dead before he moved there. Now the case is going to court.
Neither side has a compelling argument and it isn't even relevant to anything important. However, the whole damn situation is hilarious, and that's why we're interested. Here are just a few reasons why you should be too:
A.) It's not The Giving Tree, it's a pine tree. It's not as if they are rare. While the guy says that it shouldn't be replanted because it would violate the golf course view easement rule, isn't there somewhere just PAST his view they could plant a new tree? As near as we can tell, because the community must really want this particular view to be blocked.
B.) Killing a tree because you want a better view of the community golf course is proof that subdivisions can be so bizarre. Live in the city because you want to be near the hustle and bustle? Cool. Live in the country because you want some peace and quiet? Great. Live in a house approximately 15 feet from neighbors you don't know and/or don't care for? It's all fun and games till a tree is poisoned, isn't it?
C.) We're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Someone will come forward and admit it's not because of the tree, nobody gave a damn about the stupid tree. It was because one night they had a neighborhood key party and Rob was a real jerk about pulling out Ron's wife's key, huffing and puffing and asking people to trade. He went home with her, all right, but slept on the sofa. Stonebridge subdivision has never been the same. It ain't over yet, folks.
Image via nataliedee.com.
