Extra, Extra

By Margaret Lyons in News on Oct 2, 2007 12:12AM

Aurora's Planned Parenthood can open immediately.

How bad do things have to get before Daley will denounce what's going on with the Chicago Police Department's Special Operations Section? Even the Associated Press is saying, "Not since club-swinging cops in baby-blue helmets chased demonstrators through clouds of pepper gas at the 1968 Democratic National Convention have Chicago police been so awash in trouble." Dayum. And yet Da Mare has given no indication that he'll disband the SOS. Murder for hire, perjury, kidnapping, assault, robbery — enough already. When we want corrupt cops, we'll watch The Shield.

If you're going to call someone a donkey dick, do it to his or her face, OK? Columbia College prof Reid Hyams was fired after leaving a note for a colleague that said "Jack sucks donkey d[ick]," which Hyams claims is slang for a type of electro-voice microphone. Also, the note was changed to read that Jack instead sucks donkey cock, and that's just rude. Uh ... we can't believe we had to Google donkey dick.

Hey, there's more than one up-and-coming Chicago chef with a mohawk, and this one actually won something: Chicagoan Pat Berlotti won the World Grits Eating Championship yesterday after eating 21 pounds of grits. Holy shit fuck, that is a lot of grits.

Oooouch, our heart! Two tiger cubs were injured Thursday when their parents tiger ... beat ... them. Both cubs needed surgery; one is now sans front right leg, and both needed some tail repair.

The Bank of America ate La Salle bank. Now BofA is moving its real estate headquarters here.

Gorgeous image via Michael DaKidd.