Hearing a Pin Drop

By Louis in News on Oct 5, 2007 4:55PM

Issues, shmissues. The real story is that the terrorist madrassa-taught, non-black, freedom-hating Barack Hussein Obama doesn't wear an American-flag lapel pin.

We were startled when last night's TV news tag line said, "Why is Obama's patriotism in question? Tonight at 9." Though we have been suckered into watching the news based on these tag lines before, we were again let down when it was all about a pin. Those awe-inspiring pins are a standard among politicians, but Barack doesn't wear his anymore. He claims that after 9/11, the pin became a form of faux patriotism that everyone in Washington started to wear. We're sure that Fred Thompson and Rudy Giuliani sleep with their pins on, and Hillary Clinton says she wears one from time to time.

Obama has come under criticism lately for a number of important, newsworthy comments. He talked to Iowans about arugala! A poll of the audience later found that many of the people in attendance were confused as to what arugala was. Now, he isn't wearing a pin! Thanks John McCormick for getting to the bottom of these hot issues before The Onion did. (Maybe you remember McCormick from his bogus beer/wine voter story.) Good thing there isn't a war going on, otherwise this, this, and this would seem irrelevant. Our guess as to why Obama has abandoned his country: If he were to accidentally get stuck with the pin, he would bleed green blood. Everyone knows that the blood of aliens and terrorists turns green when exposed to the crisp air of freedom. At least that is what Fox News said.

No word on whether Obama has abandoned his American Flag boxers as well. For more pin related "news", the Sun-Times had a cartoon about this huge issue today. Remember, kids, it's the jewelry you wear, not the ideas you have, that prove your patriotism.