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Reality Check: Adios, Chicagoans

By Olivia Leigh in Arts & Entertainment on Oct 25, 2007 4:00PM

This week saw favored reality show contestants from Chicago bite the dust, further proving that people from our fine city just can't win on trite, ridiculous shows that require little talent!

cw-antm09-ebony-container_008293-511760-500x375.jpgOver on the CW, Ebony left ANTM in a dramatic fashion. Repeatedly unable to convey a good "model face," Ebony's shot this week took it to the next level, featuring what we like to call a "poo face." Not good. As expected, she landed in the bottom two with Ambreal, but miraculously ended up being told she could stay in the contest. However, Ebony rejected the offer, saying she didn't think modeling was for her. The cameras then captured what could only be described as some serious crazy flash through Tyra's eyes, as she proceeded to tell Ebony that she actually liked modeling but just hated criticism and people telling her what to do. The Mommie Dearest-esque Miss Banks then coldly dismissed Ebony with a "the most unattractive thing in the world to me is a quitter" lashing, while hugging a sobbing Ambreal and reminding her of her fortuitous second chance. Congrats, Ty Ty, you're officially the epitome of cray cray.

And what happened on Monday's Misogyny Hour, aka, The Bachelor?

05.jpgKristy the acupuncturist, who by all appearances seemed to be the lone intelligent, poised, grounded bachelorette in a sea of squealing women with screaming ovaries, got the boot. After the more traditional Bachelor Brad got over her Chinese medicine and New Agey philosophies in the first episode, he seemed to be quite taken by her, even managing to continue liking her even when she -- surprise! -- felt stupid and uncomfortable during an improv session when the bachelorettes were encouraged to pretend to be a dog begging for the Almighty Rose. We expected her to make it to the final four, but instead, she left unengaged gracefully sans tears, a far cry from the crazy desperation that poured out of the other axed contestant, Hillary. Better luck in the future Kristy. We're sure a slew of Chicago men who don't have overzealously shaped eyebrows and a woefully limited vocabulary (seriously, does the guy know any adjectives other than "amazing"?) would gladly date you.

Now that Chicago's only chances of playing home to a reality show winner are relegated to a tired series (Survivor) or one of Viacom's rampant stupidity fests (America's Most Smartest Model, I Love New York 2), we'll be waiting with breath abated for the return of Project Runway, on which a U of C grad and a textile "preparator" for the submarine exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry will attempt to "make it work" and then some.

Did we skip your favorite Chicago reality star this week? Email and we'll include 'em next week.