Monday Missed Connections: You Can't Always Get What You Want

By Sarah Dahnke in Miscellaneous on Nov 5, 2007 5:36PM

What a hilarious week to be a Missed Connection. Just when we think things are starting to grow tamer on Craigslist, we're struck with a Desperate Housewives-style fantasy about Juan the door-repair guy. Behold (the parts we don't feel dirty repeating):

I know we've only met a couple of times briefly but I just have to be honest. ... On the bed, on the couch, in the shower, on the floor ... I just can't stop thinking about it.

We're also struck by yet another man who feels the best way to reach the ladies is by posting a creepy photo of himself. Note to men everywhere, you can really catch a lotta ladies with this line:

I know you want to ride the Black Thunder.

But the main reason for someone posting a MC is because they want something. Like this man, who wants to have babies with a cow at the parade:

Your costume was hilarious. I was confused with the horns and the utters, but I think you did that on purpose.

Or what about this girl, who instead of offering to exchange sexual favors, like many do on CL, just wants to exchange some baked goods for a delicious pumpkin curry dish — cooked by a man in a poncho.

After asking if you always dress in poncho-gear or if you were actually out for Halloween, you and your chef/wine pal ended up chatting with us for the whole evening. ... I am always in the market for new partners in crime in the new 'hood, so how's about it — come cook me pumpkin curry; I shall equally impress with my baking prowess.

We're pretty sure all this man wanted was for this girl to drink a big glass of shutthefuckup:

To the crazy girl in the white coat on the 22 bus, on your way to Second City, talking about Britney Spears, Herpes, Peyton Manning, cock slapping, giant Gatorade condoms, etc.... you've left me with permanent emotional scarring.

2007_11_5.mmc.jpgWe'll admit we saw this post MC on Hopper's blog last week, but dear God, it's one of the best we've ever seen:

Subject: squirrel pooping on maplewood and medill.
Body: i saw you!

Squirrel photo by Katie Scully.

Missed Connection with a cupcake? Wish you had asked the dude at the bar to have your babies? Email missedconnections@chicagoist.com.