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Extra, Extra

By Margaret Lyons in News on Nov 28, 2007 12:29AM

An armed suspect ran into an elementary school this afternoon in an attempt to evade the police. It didn't work. The police caught him, and luckily no one was injured.

Women of Chicago, we're "73 percent more likely than average to contract a sexually transmitted disease" according to Self Magazine. Aaaah, time to go boil our vaginas.

The Beachwood Reporter has some good ideas for the Blackhawks marketing department. Our favorite: "George Ryan will serve out remainder of prison term in a secure United Center skybox."

A 27-year-old part-time security guard at Niles North High School has been charged with aggravated criminal sexual abuse for having sex with a 15-year-old student.

Vancouver unveiled its mascots for the 2010 Olympics, and holy shit, Quatchi is the best thing that's happened to us all day. Scroll over him so you can hear him say his name. You guys, seriously, my heart.

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