It's Raining Poop Again
By Alicia Dorr in News on Dec 12, 2007 7:20PM
In a situation only slightly less disgusting and tragically hilarious than the time Dave Matthews Band's waste landed on that tour boat, mysterious "splotches" over a three block radius in Lisle may be human poop and pee.
Police in the western suburb are investigating a substance that landed on and often stained roofs, lawns, streets, cars, etc. The yellow and brown stains were described as "the size of the palm of [a] hand." While there's no proof on what exactly the splotches were, two theories have been floated. One was migratory birds. The other? Shit and piss that rained from the sky like hellfire after someone on a plane flying overhead let the waste go.
A Federal Aviation Administration spokeswoman said that it couldn't have been human feces and urine from an airplane because it would have all been stained blue. Whether or not the police buy that story, locals like the aptly-named Mark Sickinger can smell crapola from a mile away, and he says it couldn't have been birds. However, he did mention that he didn't, in fact, smell crapola because it was so cold outside.
Sickinger may be right to be skeptical, if only because this is history repeating itself. In the early 90s the same grody thing happened around Chicago and the Environmental Protection Agency in Illinois said the spots were a result of a leaky airplane toilet. However, they changed their tune a month later and blamed it on the birds. Who knew? A poop conspiracy!
Pee and poo plush toys from Fred Flare