Happy Birthday, Mac

By Chuck Sudo in Food on Feb 5, 2008 7:45PM

Dear Kraft Foods,

We just wanted to offer you congratulations on the momentous occasion of seeing instant macaroni and cheese turn 70. That's a long time to be on top of your game. We're slightly more than half your age and can't remember the last time we made mac and cheese directly out of the box. It's safe to say that we can't remember the last time we partook of the orange goblin mélange that is Kraft macaroni and cheese, since we've actually developed some above average kitchen skills since we left home.

Not that you're begging us to come back. Your sales of mac and cheese increased by fifty percent last year, largely on the strength of something called the "Easy Mac" cup, which is microwaveable (we don't own one of those, either). Keeping an eye on recent health concerns, you've also broadened your reach in an effort to be more health conscious, offering versions of yourself to consumers who want something besides imitation cheddar sauce.

Like Virginia Slims, you've come a long way, baby. You'll have no problem reaching the big 100, just don't expect any of our spawn to partake of you in the process. We may have outgrown you, but yours is a memory that may not keep us warm yet never leaves us cold.

Sincerely,

Chicagoist