Are Breasts Running Dry for Playboy?

By Karl Klockars in News on Feb 13, 2008 6:39PM

Porn is like a money tree. If you need some cash, just go out and shake the silicone until a few hundred thousand dollars drop out. So how exactly can the nation’s foremost “gentlemen’s magazine” be losing money? Playboy announced a 4th-quarter loss today, losing $1.1 million compared with a $3.7 million profit at this time last year.

Subscriptions are down, newsstand sales are off, TV revenue has dropped 10%, and apparently Scott Baio isn’t hanging out at the mansion as much as he used to, thanks to his vile VH1 show. Oh, and that baby he had gets in the way too. The good news is that International TV revenue is up 9%, and online/mobile content is up 2%. Take that, Raven Riley! The girls of Lightspeed Sorority unfortunately could not be reached for comment. (Yeah, don't Google those at work, by the way.) And who has Playboy Mobile on their phone? Discerning porn addicts just use their video iPods, don’t they? Unfortunately, those small increases don't add up to numbers in the black for the magazine with the slightly "blue" content.

Poor Hef. First has has to pretend he’s interested in those three bobbleheads he’s trotted out on the E! Channel (what do you think they talk about, anyway?) Now his empire is slowly eroding around him. If we were him, we’d be grooming a Hef II to be the face of the company for the sad inevitability of Hef I cruising to that rotating circular bed in the sky. Some of the appeal of the magazine has always been the Playboy lifestyle, as lived by the founder - you know, aside from the articles and everything. Wouldn't it make sense to have a person to continue that lifestyle ready to go? Seriously, we'd hate to see anything happen to the family business, as well as a former Chicago institution. We're keeping our bunny-ears crossed for luck. [S-T], [CNN]

Image from MSNBC.