Top Chef Chicago Recap, Week 7
By L. Stolpman in Food on Apr 24, 2008 3:12PM
Welcome back, Top Chef lovers. Let's see what sweet, sweet love is cookin' in the kitchen this week.
Does the show have to start with the morning-after routine every week? Just once, we wish they'd show the most recently chopped off chef doing a walk of shame in the morning, hobbling on some high heels in a party dress with messy hair and sloppy mascara. Okay, maybe we just want to see Ryan in a party dress.
Quickfire: The chefs walk into the kitchen which is filled with Jesus. No, no – better than Jesus! Desserts. Like, a table full of more desserts than Oprah and Gayle have eaten in their combined lifetimes. Guest Judge: Johnny Iuzzini, famous pastry chef, challenges the chefs to create a fantastic dessert.
Least impressive: Antonia, who does herself no favors by introducing her dish with, "I attempted to…" which is as convincing as beginning your murdering client's closing argument with, "I don't think he did it…" She made a bruleed lemon curd with lemon cake. Spike bravely attempts a pineapple rum raisin soufflé with toasted coconut and is rewarded by sucking at it. He is consoled with Iuzzini's atta-boy and old college try-isms. Mark puts together pavlovas made with wattleseed. The plate is dotted with what looks like pretty little white poo-poos.
Most impressive: Dale whips up his only known dessert: "Halo-Halo" with shaved ice, avocado, mango, kiwi and nuts. We love this dessert with coconut milk. Mmmm, coconut thighs. Lisa continues to do well and Iuzzini likes her yogurt with fruit puree, fried wontons and fresh strawberries. Richard does a play on words and makes banana scallops with banana guacamole and chocolate ice cream. We admit, the visual and textural likening of bananas to both scallops and avocado is sort of brilliant, you bastard.
Winner: Richard! His recipe will go into the Top Chef cookbook.
Elimination Challenge: The chefs are told that they will be going to Second City. The Hobbit says he's excited – except, he says it with a dead, wooden face like he just got Botox injections. The Hobbit then dryly deadpans that a nice pink shirt goes with Richard's skin tone and suddenly, we love him again. We see the chefs at Second City as the cast asks for input from the audience: a color, an emotion, and an ingredient which translates into the elimination challenge: The chefs must cook a meal with five courses, which they do in pairs, each doing a randomly selected course. 1) yellow, love vanilla (Andrew and Spike), 2) depressed, purple bacon (Mark and Nikki), 3) magenta, drunk polish sausage (Antonia and Lisa), 4) green, perplexed tofu (Dale and Richard) and 5) orange, turned-on asparagus (Stephanie and Jennifer). Yup, it's about as funny as Second City in a dry county. Or in Cook County, for that matter.
1) Yellow, love vanilla (Andrew and Spike): Going along with the improvisation idea, Spike and Andrew just buy things they like at the grocery store and will see what they can make with the mess when home. It translates into a squash soup with vanilla crème fraiche. The judges are impressed and Padma says she would lick her bowl to which Ted Allen replies that he'd lick all of them. He apparently thinks Padma said balls. Bowls, Ted, bowls.
2) Depressed, purple bacon (Mark and Nikki): What's with the aviator shades in Whole Foods? They serve a roasted pork loin with sweet potatoes, grape sauce, jus and Brussels sprouts. The judges really enjoy the flavor and comfort food element of the dish.
3) Magenta, drunk polish sausage (Antonia and Lisa): Polish sausage somehow means chorizo, sea bass and purple potato - we admit, the intrigue is building here. They make a sea bass with purple potato puree, chorizo and tequila sauce. The judges think the flavor is good but note the obvious lack of polish sausage.
4) Green, perplexed tofu (Dale and Richard): Richard decides to soak the tofu in beef fat and waxes Seinfeldian for a moment by uttering, "This tofu tastes like beef! What's up with that?" They make a tofu steak marinated in beef fat with green curry. The judges love the dish, especially the curry.
5) Orange, turned-on asparagus (Stephanie and Jennifer). Jennifer makes a comment about the three elements to their dish (asparagus, orange and goat cheese) being like a menage a trois and she forgets that she's already had one with Zoi and Zoi's ego. Their dish is a menage a trois of orange with goat cheese, asparagus, salad and olive tapenade. The judges are not so much impressed with the large number of elements in the dish.
Judges Table: Spike, Andrew, Richard and Dale are called into the Judges table as the best teams of the evening. The soup wins applause as being very well seasoned and the steak tasting tofu wins applause for capturing the emotion perplexed. Winning Team: Dale and Richard. They each receive $2,500 in Calphalon cookware.
Lisa, Antonia, Stephanie and Jennifer are called into the principal's office. The obvious lack of polish sausage is questioned. Lisa states that she's only eaten it on top of mashed potatoes mixed with sour kraut and we instantly plan our next meal because that sounds like some drunken good eats. Then they turn to Jennifer and Stephanie. Tom says, "Too much of everything!" Jennifer explains how the dish was supposed to look phallic and both Tom and Padma giggle as if to say, "Leave it to the experts, honey." Judges hate the bread and you can see the "Dammit, I knew it" across Stephanie's face. The judges debate before calling in the teams and declaring that the asparagus dish was their least favorite. We witness this news break Stephanie's heart as her face falls between her knees. Bless her heart, Stephanie looks like a kindergartener who dropped her cupcake when she hears Padma ask Jennifer to pack her knives and hit the road. That's right. Jennifer got kicked off and somehow, she'll probably say she did it for Zoi.
Coming up! We see that next week will involve child labor. Fantastic! We love how their little fingers peel the skin off of mandarin oranges so well.