Ask Chicagoist: How Old Is Too Old?

By Thales Exoo in Miscellaneous on Apr 25, 2008 5:11PM

How big an age difference is too big an age difference when it comes to dating? At what point does it go from "hey, he/she's responsible and mature!" to "hey...if he/she's so responsible and mature...why are they pursuing someone, say, eleven years younger?"

Let's pretend that 11 is a hypothetical number...the way this is a hypothetical question.

What is it that Cosmopolitan (or whatever) says? Subtract seven from your age and double that number to see how old of a person it's socially acceptable to date? So we're 32, so we could date a 50-year-old. Or a 23-year-old. Neither of which really appeal all that much to us on the surface, but who are we to argue with such an exact science as that obviously is. Oh, but the 23-year-old and the 50-year-old? Hands off of each other!

Honestly though, whatever works for you, that's our steadfast philosophy, assuming everything's legal, of course. It's fairly obvious but it's worth repeating -- if you click with someone and have a good time with that person and are sexually attracted to that person, who the hell cares about ages?

OK, sure. You have the world's perception to worry about, and the 50-year-old who is dating the 23-year-old often looks just wrong from people's viewpoint who are nowhere near the relationship at all. Clearly the 50-year-old is having a midlife-crisis and the 23-year-old is a gold digger. They obviously have nothing in common and are simply escaping from their real lives, and it will never last. Right?

Maybe, maybe not. We figure, if you feel strong enough with the person you want to date and strong enough with your perception of yourself, you'll be strong enough not to let the world's eyebrow raising hinder your relationship. Because we think that regardless of how anyone else perceives you guys, if you let them get to you it really will affect your relationship negatively. So to recap -- remain confident, have fun, and do what makes sense to you.

Image via Beatnic

Aging fast? Need some advice? Email ask(at)chicagoist(dot)com.