Top Chef Chicago Recap, Week 8
By L. Stolpman in Food on May 1, 2008 3:57PM
Okay, kiddies, let’s see what Top Chef is making for us tonight.
We get a quick look at a lot of tooth brushing and shaving. Antonia states that she should trust her own palate and so bring it, bitches.
Quickfire Challenge: Today’s guest judge is Art Smith, Oprah’s personal chef. He’s fabulous. On the tables in the kitchen are microwavable bags of Uncle Ben’s rice. The chefs have 15 minutes to create an entrée and the unspoken rule is, “Use the Uncle Ben’s. They bought Padma’s alcohol supply.”
Padma can barely keep a straight face as she pimps out Uncle Ben and describes the challenge. It occurs to us that Padma is the Paula Abdul of the cooking world. Only sexy. And so it’s forgivable. This is how the world spins, kiddies.
Back to the challenge. The chefs scramble madly around the kitchen with yells of “behind you!” sprinkled liberally. Richard says that cooking in 15 minutes is “not his style.” That’s because he is not a single mom. That’s totally their style and they do that shit with some grace, yo.
At the bottom: Lisa. Apparently her dish is an old standby for Chef Smith. Her dish: Rice, corn, black beans and peppers with avocado crème and grilled shrimp. Stephanie falls short with her brown rice pancakes with scallops and her play on a Korean seafood pancake. Still, she’s kind of adorable when she says, before the Quickfire, that she wants immunity. Her head wiggles, “C’mon! Let’s do this.” Mark makes a miso glazed turkey breast over rice with snap peas and grapes. It sounds cruddy and his turkey is dry.
Art’s favorites: Dale makes pineapple fried rice with grilled scallops and Chinese long beans. Antonia wows Chef Smith with a dish from her childhood. It’s a rice salad with skirt steak, arugula, red onions and cherry tomatoes. It looks damn good. He digs the hot and cold contrast. Richard makes tuna steak and tomatoes over rice with truffle oil and yuzu vinaigrette. Chef Smith loves the yuzu on the tomatoes. Winner: Antonia!
Elimination Challenge: The chefs are told that they must create a healthy, complete meal for a family of four with a budget of $10. No one bothers to ask if this $10 is in Whole Food Bucks or Aldi Bucks. Bravo goes to pains to show the chefs trying to make their budget which is totally bogus because most of them leave the meat counter with decent sized packages. Just once, when Colicchio says, “Did you use your full budget?” we want a chef to say, “Yes, you jackhole. It was Whole Foods.”
Once in the kitchen, the chefs are introduced to their helpers: Kids! Antonia misses her kid and gets weepy. Lisa monologues and we get confirmation that the show can, in fact, have a lesbian chef who does not profess her love for Zoi. Richard says “[b]eets is one of the more forward ingredients…” Well, maybe Dale boughten some, too. Within minutes, Spike's kid is bleeding which is exactly what would happen if Spike and Andrew got together and adopted children. The chefs prepare their dishes and serve it to other kids and the judges. Let’s see who came out on top:
Antonia made a chicken and vegetable stir-fry with whole wheat noodles. The judges dig it and recognize that Antonia knows how to whip up a kid friendly, balanced meal. Spike made pasta puttanesca, carrot soup and semi-baked apples. We love how in the one challenge involving children, Spike manages to reference prostitution. We giggle when Chef Smith says, “Mmmm, it tastes like a puttanesca.” Nikki made a one pot dish: Roasted chicken with mixed vegetables along side a tomato and cucumber salad. The flavors impress the judges who declare the dish well seasoned, colorful and fun.
Now for the bottom three.
Mark whipped up a vegetable curry with cinnamon rice and cucumber salad. Overall, the dish was too sweet and the judges wanted some protein in the dish. Lisa made a roasted chicken with edamame and black beans and serves peanut butter and apple French toast for dessert. Padma wants more fresh vegetables with it, Chef Smith says that the chicken doesn’t have much flavor and we get a bonus shot of Gail doing the classic lip maneuver to get food out from the sides of her cheeks and against her teeth - which is second cousin to the funny walk to get rid of a wedgie. Stephanie serves couscous with eggplant and zucchini and a chicken in peanut and tomato sauce. Sounds…mushy.
Judges Table: Antonia, Nikki, and Andrew are called in and told they are the favorites. The judges praise Nikki’s one pot technique and her great balance. Andrew’s dish gets praise for incorporating fruit in a savory dish. Antonia’s whole wheat pasta was cooked perfectly and the flavor was delicate enough for a kid, tasty enough for an adult. Winner: Antonia! Way to go, lady!
Lisa, Mark, and Stephanie are called in. Stephanie looks scared, Mark looks like he is bracing himself and Lisa just looks downright pissed off. Stephanie readily admits the improperly cooked couscous and listens as Tom and Chef Smith offer their critiques. Padma asks Mark why he thinks he’s in the bottom three and he pipes up, “Well, I’m baffled! I think Tom doesn’t like me!” which puts the judges table in a fit of giggles. Lisa barks out the great points of her dish which convinces no one. The judges debate Lisa’s bland food, Stephanie’s odd peanut butter and tomato pairing and Mark’s over-sweet, sloppy curry. In the end, Padma asks Mark to pack his knives and beat it.
Coming up next week: The chefs appear to work a resident's shift and are exhausted to the point of lunacy. It looks like they're throwing a wedding. Oh, dear.