When Oh When Will E! Start Its R. Kelly Trial Reenactments?

By Margaret Lyons in News on May 16, 2008 6:15PM

Today in Weird Shit Happening at the R Kelly Trial, from the Trib's bordering-on-the-absurd blog:

....Cook County Judge Vincent Gaughan held up a plastic baggy filled with chewed gum. He announced that a colorful array of spit-out wads was found stuck under the press benches and he was not pleased.
...
Unconvinced that the gum had come from the press, this reporter got down on the floor and looked under the benches, where decades of Double Mint and Juicy Fruit are stuck for all eternity. However, Gaughan later insisted that the pieces in his custody were soft and freshly chewed, suggesting one of my media brethren was to blame.

Gaughan took a break from shenanigans and using the look-him-in-the-eye trick moms have used for centuries to uphold the gag order in the case, refusing to unseal records of pre-trial closed-door hearings. MTV News has a thoroguh description of all the jurors, including the one who says he's "too young" to remember the O.J. trial. Which makes us feel about a million years old. Time to go mix up some Metamucil, fire up an episode of Murder, She Wrote and talk about wearing our onions on our belts.