45 Chicago People, Places and Ideas That Get Us Going

By Margaret Lyons in Miscellaneous on May 21, 2008 5:36PM

2008_5_20.thevaginathingisanurbanmyth.jpgMay is National Masturbation Month, so in honor of what we like to think of as our real national pastime (plenty of people find baseball boring), we've compiled a list of things about Chicago that turn us, and the friends we polled, on.

You know, for when you need to take a drive down Wacker...

  • Sitting at bar in the back room at Lula, where you can see the group of smokin' hot chefs stand shoulder to shoulder and cook delicious food.
  • The Ladies of the Brown and Blue Lines
  • Spring cleavage
  • The Windy City Rollers
  • Shirtless boys in the park
  • Watching a storm roll in or out over the lake
  • The baristas of Intelligentsia
  • People-watching at the MCA
  • Girls eating candy at The Burlington
  • Sunbathers at the Addison totem pole
  • The footlong dog at Murphy's
  • The milfs, realtors and pharmaceutical reps at the LP Panera at lunchtime - more hot blondes in suits than an episode of CSI: Miami
  • Girls playing beach volleyball in bikinis at North Ave. Beach
  • Art Fairs
  • Watching girls butts on either the L or the bus. Or on the street.
  • The 151 bus
  • The name "Amy St Eve"
  • Seeing Manny Flores on the El
  • Full color arm sleeve tattoos! Yowza!
  • The supersexy waiters all over Southport that develop little beads of sweat on their foreheads as they're hustling between the inside and the outdoor patios they're serving
  • Sweaty girls in bands playing on low stages or the floor
  • Baseball players' butts. More specifically, baseball pitchers'.
  • Reading the X matches in the reader classifieds
  • The men in various choruses around town. They sing well, they wear tuxedos, they perform in churches.
  • Typing "Daddy" into the erotic services search on Chicago Craigslist
  • Seeing someone having sex in an apartment as I ride past on the El
  • Brunettes named Brandi that wear Mark Buehrle jerseys and pink White Sox hats
  • The Art Institute kids whenever there's a film lecture screening at the Siskel
  • Drinking at the Green Mill
  • The Cultural Center
  • Manny's
  • Charleston Pub
  • Hopleaf
  • Violet Hour
  • The Hideout
  • Simon's
  • Ten Cat
  • The Smurfit-Stone Building
  • Powell's Bookstore
  • The Music Box
  • Spice House
  • The dinosaur gallery at the Field
  • The Seminary Co-op
  • Bobtail soda fountain
  • Chicago flag tattoos

Photo via Mike Mertz