Make Joe Six-Pack American Come True

By Lauri Apple in Miscellaneous on Oct 8, 2008 4:30PM

We're somewhat taken with the idea of Joe Six-Pack American: a normal guy who works like us, drinks like us, and does normal guy things like us (watch too much TV and take anti-cholesterol medication, for example). With a little more character development, Joe could become our 21st century Paul Bunyan -- a symbol of American strength and hard work, but maybe with a Labrador Retriever instead of an ox, a khaki shirt instead of a plaid flannel one, and a laptop for an ax.

Problem is, we can't visualize Mr. JS-PA, because Sarah Palin didn't fill us in on the details regarding his appearance. That's where you come in. Tell us: What do you think Joe Six-Pack American look like?

Does he:

• Have a bushy beard, or a Todd Palin goatee?
  
• Wear "sneakers," or construction boots?
  
• Drink "normal-sized" (16-20 oz.) sodas, or go for whatever size ends in "gulp"?
  
• Have a neck tattoo?
  
• Carry a Bible, or a copy of Playboy?

Offer your ideas in our comments section, and Lauri will paint a composite portrait using the best suggestions. The results will be posted on Friday.

Do your part to turn myths into reality, Chicago! Play a little God! You'll like it.