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Oprah Watch

By Ali Trachta in Arts & Entertainment on Oct 17, 2008 5:30PM

2008_10_17oprahwatch1.jpgSuze Orman again?? Who are we kidding. We can’t get enough of the Suze. This Monday there she was wearing the same gold earrings as always, but this time she was doing her “Can You Afford It?” thing from her show. Show me the money! Can a speech therapist mother-of-two afford to stay at home? No. Can a hip, young college grad afford an extravagant lifestyle? Hells no. Can a sales manager with a healthy 401K and stock options afford to retire? FUCK no. Man, these are troubled times we’re living in.

Tuesday’s show, though way off Oprah’s beaten path, covered one of the most eye-opening topics she’s touched upon in a while. The show explored how the food we consume gets from the farm to our plates, and questioned whether the animal treatment we accept as normal is, in fact, ethical. It began with an interview of Nicholas Kristof, a New York Times columnist who shared his reflections on growing up on a farm and how it's influenced his views on meat consumption today. Oprah and Lisa Ling then mediated a debate of California’s Proposition 2, which would mandate more space for livestock in the pens that house them. The discussion exchanged just about as many “that’s not trues” as Obama and McCain do, but ultimately a fair and balanced as well as enlightening dialogue emerged. In the end we sided pro, and we think a lot of you would too, so for more information on how choose cage free and free range products, click here.

2008_10_17oprahwatch2.jpgOh HELL no. Audience members vented up a storm during Wednesday’s show that centered around rudeness and pet peeves. A highlight emerged early when a woman told the jaw-dropping tale of her gynocologist taking a cell phone call while her feet were the in stirrups, to which O responded, “While he was down there with a spatula?...what’s it called?...a spectchulum?” C’mon Oprah. Then came the rudeness quiz:

Are you chronically late?
Have you ever typed an email while talking on the phone?
Have to ever interrupted a face-to-face interaction for a non-urgent phone call?
Have you gone through a supermarket ten item express lane with more than ten items?
Have you let your dog relieve himself on your neighbor’s lawn?
Have you ever stolen someone’s parking spot?
Have you ever gossiped?
Have you ever taken someone else’s food or drink from the office refrigerator?

If you answered “yes” to four or more of these, basically consider yourself an asshole.

If you’re an avid Oprah watcher, it should come as no surprise that this rudeness in the air is impeding the spiritual revolution. Oprah’s guest Dr. P.M. Forni suggests you read his new book Choosing Civility: The 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct to ensure this doesn’t happen.

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Aaah, Thursday. We thank you. You serve to unite the Oprah Nation in this scattered, unpredictable world. The show celebrated women throughout history who have blazed new trails and knocked down walls for today’s generation. Specifically, Oprah crony Maria Shriver joined her to honor Gloria Steinem and Billie Jean King, both of whom are current recipients of the Minerva Awards Maria doles out each year. This estrogen fortified gathering left us inspired and enthused, and suddenly we felt like kicking some white boy ass. In a word, we were Oprahfied, and we ate it up.

Friday’s show is live once again, and it looks like this format is here to stay because all Oprah’s telling us in her previews is that viewers are all over it like ants on sugar. Bring on the cavities.