How 'Bout a Nice Pic-a-nic Table, Eh, Boo-Boo?

By Prescott Carlson in News on Oct 21, 2008 8:20PM

Want to reminisce about that anonymous sex you had on a table top at the forest preserve? Or that one time you stumbled across a guy shooting up heroin right in the middle of a picnic grove? Well, now you can own a piece of those fond memories. Yesterday, the Forest Preserve District of Cook County listed 2,000 used, wood picnic tables on eBay as they've phased in a newer version that's "cheaper, heavier, more difficult to vandalize and easier to maintain." As with most government agencies, the FPDCC is adept in the flowery, romantic imagery needed to sell such an item:

The Forest Preserve District of Cook County is offering wooden picnic tables for sale that have been used District-wide. These picnic tables have been treated with Copper Chromate Arsenate better known as (CCA) a chemical preservative. This chemical was pressure injected into wooden pieces to protect it from rot, fungi, molds, termites and other pests that can threaten the integrity of wood products. As of January 1, 2004 the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) advised that CCA should no longer be used to treat wood.

The tables are going for $15 each ($10 to non-profits), and appear to be popular -- as of this writing, 110 have already sold. Unfortunately any tables with naughty words on them were weeded out from the sale (a selling point for us), but we've still got our eye on a sweet number with "Metallica Rulz" carved into the top -- our teddy bears will love it. [Trib]

Photo from Forest Preserve District eBay listing page