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Oprah Watch: Innocent Criminals, Are you Right-Brained or Left-Brained? and Life A La Olsen Twins

By Ali Trachta in Miscellaneous on Oct 24, 2008 9:02PM

2008_10_24oprahwatch1.jpgOn Monday, a disturbing story yielded disturbing information about our legal practices in this country as the show welcomed Marty Tankleff, a man recently freed from prison for the murder of his parents. Marty, who always knew he was not his parents’ killer, told the story of why he confessed to a crime of which he was wrongfully accused. Before he could get a word out, our knee-jerk judgmental side asked, “Why would anyone confess to a murder they didn’t commit?” The answer was in the mind games prosecutors sometimes play when investigating crimes. Per the experts, in 25% of cases seeking overturn through DNA evidence, a confession has been signed. So how does this happen? In Tankleff’s case, the police told him his father had been pumped full of adrenaline, came out of his coma, and fingered his son for the crime. Marty, only 17 and feeling his father would never lie, became confused and began to doubt himself. The trick caused him to confess. The most shocking part of this story? American police are allowed to do this stuff.

Tuesday welcomed Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist (meaning she studies parts of the brain and their function) who had a stroke and remained conscious through the entire experience. Ironic, dontcha think? She recounted every step of the slow deterioration of the left part of her brain into oblivion, after which only her abstract, right-brain function remained. She could not speak or understand language and had lost her entire past, but on the plus side, she lost all her emotional baggage. This taught her the most important lesson of her life: that peace is just a thought away. Though unable to communicate, her right brain was still keenly aware of the energy brought to her by each person, which is a reminder to us all that those around us are just as perceptive to the attitude we present as they are to the words we speak. This show also reminded us of a cool test. To find out if you’re right-brained or left-brained, click here.

2008_10_24oprahwatch2.jpgWednesday brought us what? You guessed it. More. Suze. Orman. But we’re still not sick of her! She’s our beacon of hope in the darkness. She had a new spin on her money talk this time: how to finally tell your spoiled brat teens that they can’t get iPhones and new, tricked out snowboards in this shit-ass economy. Suze feels parents should start involving their kids in the household finances, and that cutting corners as a team can actually bring families closer together. This theory was all the more convincing in her to-the-knee, almost cape-like lavender blazer. Aye, aye Captain!

On Thursday, we were really pissed that Oprah was making us sit through an Olsen Twins interview. How was rubbing elbows with celebrity teeny-boppers going to to bring us the Oprahfication we so desired? Sadly, there were no pleasant surprises here. Mostly Mary-Kate and Ashley were there to promote their new book, Influence, in which they interview artists and designers who have inspired them. Hopefully they’re better interviewers than interviewees, since nothing resembling personality ever emerged from their meek, introverted demeanor while on stage. We will say, though, that the segment that gave us a behind-the-scenes look at their fashion line was intriguing. These girls are known for looking constantly fabulous, but it became clear they have more than keen fashion sense. They are style prodigies with a true knack for design.

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More interesting was Oprah’s interview with Tony Hsieh, the CEO of Zappos.com who sits in a cubicle instead of a corner office and shares a business suit with his brother. His passion is not so much shoes, but kickass customer service which he hopes to someday parlay into the airline business. We are 100% behind that and would fly nothing but Zappos Air if that happened.

On Friday’s live show, Oprah revealed her new favorite thing. Considering she told us on Wednesday that she just purchased her first cell phone, we were highly intrigued by what "gadget" she could be so head over heels for. (And if it involved her vajayjay in any way, we were so outta here.) We were relieved to find out it's the new Amazon Kindle - a remarkable new reading device that can pull up almost any book, blog, newspaper or mag your little heart desires in minutes. Our prediction is that sales of this magic machine will quickly surpass those of the iPod, especially with Oprah's special offer. We'll keep you posted.