STATE OF IL A++++++ GREAT SELLER WOULD BUY AGAIN

By Karl Klockars in News on Nov 17, 2008 7:50PM

Ever been to a pawn shop? Ever hocked an old ring or a bracelet? The State of Illinois is essentially doing the same thing starting on Sunday, and your grandma's abandoned property is what's up for grabs. The treasurer's office is using their digital presence on the World's Biggest Swap Meet to bring in some extra cash for the holidays, and you too can be a part of it.

Illinois is calling it the "Silver and Gold" Cash Dash extravaganza on the Illinois State's Ebay page, and believe it or not, our collective State feedback is pretty good. The way it works is this: If your grandparents threw some jewelry in a safe deposit box and then proceeded to forget about it for about a decade, the banks then have to hand over the contents to the state.

It's at this point that the state can put the stuff up for sale, and if you happen to want it back, they'll happily cut you a check for the appraised value of the stuff. However, not many people must be doing this, because Illinois has taken in about a quarter of a million bucks since last year through the program. They've got another $125,000 in the Cash Dash for this year, so bid early, bid often. We've got our eyes on that lot of Mickey Mantle cards - if the high bid belongs to oldenglish800and1, please don't outbid us.

Also, here's the things that are tickling our funnybones about the Trib's reporting of this story:

• They made a point to ask about the porn. A state policy on “found porn” has to exist somewhere.
• A story specifically about a website has 3 links in it – and none to the Treasurer’s Office or to the actual Ebay page that the story is about.
• "Turkish bazaar?” What kind of ancient euphamisms are next? References to Gypsies?
• They've discovered something called "hipsters." This phenomenon demands more investigation, Col. McCormick.