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Zoo Struggling With Lack Of Tiger Lovin'

By Marcus Gilmer in News on Dec 4, 2008 8:40PM

2008_12_04_tiger.jpgOh, Vahzhno, we feel your pain. The eight-year-old male Siberian tiger at the Lincoln Park Zoo has been making passes at a fellow Siberian tiger, 11-year-old Molly, but to no avail. Miss Thang has been giving her younger man the shoulder (would the age difference make Molly a "cougar" tiger?) much to the consternation of zoo workers who are trying to get the two to mate. Dave Bernier, Curator of Mammals Lincoln Park Zoo, explained it like so: "We're trying to put our two tigers together for breeding. Our female Molly and our male Vahzhno. Every month or so when she cycles we introduce them together for two or three consecutive days in the hopes that they'll breed." Ah.

Molly was actually part of the last litter of the tigers born at the zoo, dating back to 1997. Bernier elaborated a bit, saying, "He's a very smart cat. You know he can read the signals. He doesn't have to be beaten over the head to know that she doesn't want him around right now...He's trying to buy her drinks and she's not having any of it." Man, we know that story. So we here at Chicagoist decided to put our brains together and come up with possible solutions to help Vahzhno with his pursuit.

  • Sex Panther Cologne.
  • Two words: Barry White.
  • Dirty movies - it worked for pandas.
  • Stalk her MySpace page and then quote her favorite movie to her next time. Even if it's Dirty Dancing.
  • If all else fails, just do the opposite of what Marcus and Tankboy do in front of women. Works wonders.

Image via ABC7 video