Happy Birthday, Governor!

By Karl Klockars in Miscellaneous on Dec 10, 2008 10:07PM

Man, do we love surprises. Especially on our birthday. Stuff like a surprise party or a gift of something we didn't expect like a brand new ten-speed bike in the driveway. So we can only imagine the joy and excitement that G-Rod had at 6am yesterday when the knock on his door led him to a free SUV ride from the Federal Government, a free stay in some new and interesting governmental offices, some time with an actual judge and then a ride back home with helicopters and media trucks a-trailin'. Sur-prise! Happy birthday!

What say you, kids? What would you give our Esteemed Governor on today, his 52nd birthday? Well, in addition to some mood stabilizers, maybe some tranquilizers for the wife, a copy of Restoring Responsibility: Ethics In Government and a bar of soap for that potty mouth of his*, we'd get him one of these:


Now that we all know where Blagojevich lives, you can just follow the sounds of the national press chattering away and drop off your gift with one of the bodyguards that all of our tax dollars are paying for. Here's to many happy returns, Governor. And a pinch to grow an inch!

*It's hot when Patti does it though. Talk dirty to us, Patti. Yeah, [bleep] the Cubs. Tell it slow.