Chicago Smooth Jazz Ambles On

By Alexander Hough in Arts & Entertainment on Jun 8, 2009 7:45PM

Photo by princess toadie

Welcome, my beautiful darling, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you anything? I want you to relax.

Just sit down on this couch and place your elegant feet upon my velvet ottoman. Let me prepare a drink for you. But first, I'll put on some tunes, some music that will sweep away all the worries of the day. Just concentrate on being the beautiful princess you are.

Let me open up my computer and go to Chitown Smooth Jazz, a website of streaming music that started after WNUA 95.5 dropped their smooth jazz format and switched to Spanish pop on May 22. Smooth hearts everywhere were broken. My heart was broken.

But the gods above have smiled upon me and given me two things: thou, who art sweeter than the ripest honeydew melon which was then drizzled with honey and then sprinkled with powdered sugar. And this website, which has given me something to listen to while I sip wine by candlelight and think about the old days when 95.5 was a smooth jazz powerhouse. Did you know WNUA won Radio & Records Smooth Jazz Station of the Year award from 1998 through 2005?

And now Radio & Records, the influential radio industry trade publication, has left me, too. Their last issue was this past Friday. What am I to do?

I'm inconsolable. Come console me, baby.

But now there's this website, and I want to share it with you. They have twelve different stations with more in the works, including one devoted to local artists. Just tell me how you want it. Smooth Chill? Groove Jazz? Mellow Jazz? Smooth Guitar? Smooth Piano? Smooth Vocals?

You're right, baby, I can't tell what the differences are based on the names, either. In fact, I've been listening to this site since it started in late May, and I still have no idea what the differences are.

Here, I shall guide you. Tell me, do you like being in a dentist's office? No? Then let's stay away from Smooth Sax. How about the Weather Channel? Not a fan? Then we won't click on Smooth Instrumental.

Might I suggest Broadway Jazz? Sit back down, baby! I'm being serious! It really isn't bad!

Here, I can customize a list you're sure to love. Oscar Peterson, Bill Evans, Gerry Mulligan, Sonny Stitt. Want me to buy this album off of Amazon for you so you can remember this special evening forever? I'll just click on this link provided to me on the site.

And then we'll switch to a random station, click on "Remove Artist" when Kenny G or Chris Botti comes up, and let Chitown Smooth Jazz, with its minimal commercial interruptions, take us into the night.

[Thanks to Windy Citizen for alerting us to the smoooooth.]