Queer Nerds At Heart
By Tony Peregrin in Arts & Entertainment on Sep 12, 2009 8:00PM
No one has shown up to a Nerds at Heart gathering wearing taped glasses or elf ears just yet, but many self-identified nerds that attend these monthly events are less like the stereotypical nerd and more like the Tina Fey-type of nerd. They’re smart, single, and they’re likely the kind of nerds that watch the Discovery Channel, occasionally edit an erroneous Wikipedia article, and have been known to interrupt a warm cuddle session to look something up.
Dating for Queer Nerds—an offshoot of Nerds at Heart aimed at gay and lesbian singles—attracts a similar, brainy-cute following, although you’re likely to see a few more cute argyle sweaters in the Queer Nerd gatherings, and fewer role-playing gamers, according to Nerds at Heart founders Julia Borcherts and Bathsheba Birman. “And as a group, queer nerds are apparently better tippers—the staff at our venues are always extra-excited when it’s a Queer Nerds night,” reveals Borcherts.
Here’s what you won’t find at Dating for Queer Nights: there’s no interviewing, no checklists, and no pressure to sell yourself to a prospective partner. “We want to make sure that everyone has a good time in a relaxed, fun, low-pressure environment and that we give them the opportunity to meet several people in both large-and-small group activities. If sparks happen, that’s great, but we don’t do anything to artificially force that—it’s more important to us that everyone has a nice evening out,” says Borcherts, an adjunct fiction writing professor at Columbia College.
Most events—which are hosted at local, low-key hangouts— include a complimentary cocktail, a round of board games and trivia quizzes, and a chance to win geeky prizes that typically include librarian action figures, Nancy Drew notepads, juggling kits and superhero postage stamps. (Sample nerd trivia question: Axillism refers to sex with which body part? Answer: the arm pit.)
“We plan activities in such a way that people will not feel excluded, but that’s almost unnecessary,” explains Borcherts. “The attendees we attract tend to be very welcoming towards others and mingle well. We keep an eye out during the breaks for the shy ones who huddle in a corner pretending to check their email and text messages, but nine times out of ten, another attendee will swoop in and resume them before we’ve made it across the room.”
Upcoming Queer Nerds at Heart events ($20 with advance registration/payment, $25 at the door):