Joakim Noah, Ungodly Athlete

By Marcus Gilmer in Miscellaneous on Oct 15, 2009 7:00PM

It seems one North Carolina church is Hell-bent on letting us know which professional athletes are getting into Heaven and which aren't. The Amazing Grace Baptist Church has a great list of Ungodly Athletes. Among them? The Bulls' Joakim Noah. According to the heathens over at Deadspin, the church had this to say about Noah: "Has long hair, which is disobedient to the Word of God." Ah. The Church has been in the news lately for their planned book burning which looks like it'll condemn every single book that's not the King James Version of the Bible. No, we're not kidding. Unfortunately, thanks to all the publicity, the church's site has been cast into the fiery inferno of Interwbez Purgatory so we can't see what other Chicago athletes are doomed, but we're guessing a certain legend's gambling issues probably ensured his damnation no matter how many rings he won. In the meantime, we'll be here praying for Joakim to get a haircut.