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Anthony Abbate To Judge: "Gimme a Second Chance!"

By Karl Klockars in News on Jan 13, 2010 8:35PM

Anthony Abbate has got to have some of the hugest cajones on the planet. If we ever got shitfaced enough to lay hands on a woman and then had the videotape of said event broadcast across the globe, you couldn't find a hole deep enough or dark enough for us to hide in. And yet, according to the Trib, ex-cop and infamous asshole Abbate petitioned the court yesterday to request that a judge give him a second chance to defend himself:

In a petition filed Tuesday in Cook County Circuit Court, attorneys for Anthony Abbate said the Chicago Police Board made 12 errors in ordering his termination last month, including using the infamous videotape in deciding to fire him...Abbate's petition also claims that the civilian board wrongly viewed as a problem Abbate's decision to invoke his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination at least 75 times during his board hearing.

Maybe it's just us, but we would have considered the fact that we weren't cooling our fists in jail to be enough. Unfortunately, it's not likely that Abbate will take a cue from his former compatriots at Second City Cop: "Just go away. You're a disgrace, you're a millstone around our necks, you are a perfect example of someone who never should have been hired in the first place, but made it through the process via clout." Here's to hoping there's a long career of low-paying security guard gigs at lonely warehouses on the third shift in the future. But since this is Chicago, what do you think the chances are of Abbate receiving a wrongful-termination settlement? Sadly, we estimate them as "even."

In case you haven't watched the video in a while (which is likely the case), take a look and remind yourself why the country was outraged and why some of us can't listen to "Sunday Morning Coming Down" the same way any more: