The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

Sex & Scuffles: Bad News Day For Sox

By Marcus Gilmer in News on Apr 9, 2010 6:00PM

Photo by Teddy Wachholz

The Chicago White Sox are making some negative headlines today and it has nothing to do with last night's extra-inning loss to Cleveland.

First up, John Kass shares the story of Dr. Paul Nemeth who got all hot and bothered on Opening Day when he discovered a couple having sex in a stall in one of The Cell's bathrooms. Nemeth expressed outrage over the incident. Besides a pretty interesting description of what he saw - "The toes were pointing up. The legs were shaking and quivering. From a visual standpoint, all you had to see was the legs quivering to know something was going on." - Nemeth also called the whole thing "disgusting" and lamented that though the Sox security team can't cover every bathroom stall, these kind of shenanigans ruined the entire experience for him and his son. Kass even gets in on the act, calling the man involved, "protoplasm in a T-shirt, smelling of beer." But, hey, points to Kass for slipping in the word "taint" in his headline. The folks at The Awl also ponder some of the specifics of the incident that were left out of Kass's column.

In other news, the Sox and their security team are being sued for malicious prosecution and battery by Sox fan and Cook County Correctional Officer Rubin Lopez over a scuffle that happened at a Cubs-Sox game at The Cell last June. When security officials tried to remove a Cubs fan from the stands for allegedly throwing a beer, Lopez claims he told them they had the wrong guy but they didn't take kindly to his interference.

"That's when he [the officer] said to me to mind my own business. And that's when I let him know, I was a Cook County Sheriff [corrections officer], off duty," Lopez said, explaining that he thought he was helping a fellow officer, not getting in the way.

"He said that the 'Cook County Sheriffs are burnt up,'" Lopez said, explaining: "It's slang for disrespect, like there's no respect for sheriff's" officers.

One thing led to another and security personnel claim Lopez shoved a guard to the ground while Lopez claims it was an accident after someone pushed him into the guard. Lopez said that he had to undergo an internal investigation at work as a result of the incident. Video of the incident is below. Lopez's scuffle is at the far left side of the screen.