The American Idol Finalists Are Coming!

By Tankboy in Arts & Entertainment on Apr 28, 2010 8:20PM

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Photo by Craig DeCristo
Hands up, who's watching this season of American Idol! O.K. then, this piece of news is for all three of you. The only thing more certain than Simon Cowell never changing his haircut is that he and his business partners will squeeze every cent out of the franchise by sending each season finalists out on the road for a American Idol Live! Tour.

This year's finalists -- Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox, Lee DeWyze, Andrew Garcia, Casey James, Aaron Kelly, Michael Lynche, Siobhan Magnus, Katie Stevens, and Tim Urban -- are hitting the road to amaze and astound the masses with their utterly generic and neutering of everything under the pop rainbow. This year is even more exciting with the addition of folksy granola singers (blame Kris Allen) to round out the usual crop of over-singers, screamers, and Nickelback lovin' lumberjack growlers. Oh! And there's a local hook! Finalist Lee DeWyze - who is actually from Mount Prospect -- will have a chance to debut his brand new tattoo of the Chicago flag when the tour comes through the United Center on August 30!

Aw c'mon, we can't even fake enthusiasm when this year's crop of singers is just awful. When the most interesting contestant is Siobhan Magnus, herself basically a less interesting Adam Lambert ripoff, it's a sign that maybe we should just torpedo the whole franchise. Seriously, at this point we'd almost rather watch Glee.

Is it just us, or should American Idol just have stopped after crowning Kelly Clarkson in the first season?

You still want to go? Fine. Tickets go on sale May 15. Enjoy.