Neoga Not Too Happy About This School House Rockin'

By Karl Klockars in Miscellaneous on May 21, 2010 8:40PM

The Body Shop, Sunset Strip, Los Angeles. The Spearmint Rhino, Las Vegas. The Crazy Horse, Paris. And now, the School House Gentleman's Club, Neoga, Illinois. Okay, so maybe it's too early to add the School House to such a refined and highbrow list of upscale gentleman's establishments, but what it lacks in heritage and class it makes up for with classroom gags and a great repurposed location. Which is exactly what is giving the residents of Neoga, a town of 1800 located an hour south of Champaign, a case of the vapors.

The Tribune reports that owners Bob Kearney and Travis Funneman purchased the former Pioneer grade school for $36k and rehabbed it into the School House, where men can bring their own beer (no hard liquor) and drop their hard-earned money on $20 lap dances. The cafeteria is the main floor where topless women work the pole, and the former teachers lounge has become the VIP room. All of this comes with an extra dose of teacher-fetish, free of charge. And whether neighbors like it or not, it's legal.

Since there's never been any adult business regulations in town, the club is on the up and up, for now. The owners have just a year's lease on the building and new laws are on the books to restrict adult businesses, according to the Herald-Review. No new business would be allowed to permit fully nude performances and they need to be a thousand feet from residences. Since the School House was open before the rules kicked in, they believe they aren't required to adhere to those new rules. The town's lack of funds is also hampering efforts, since they don't have the cash to accurately electronically map the area as required by law.

While the town's website heralds that "you are always welcome in Neoga," protesters are still clinging to hope that their prayers are stronger than the drive to see naked boobies - signs are posted that say "'Does your family know where you are? Jesus does.'" Considering that the town's motto is "Neoga, Naturally" maybe they have only themselves to blame. [h/t to The Awl]