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Please Don't Wear Meat!

By Anthony Todd in Food on Oct 22, 2010 7:40PM

Every drag queen in the city (and maybe even a few women) wants to look like Lady Gaga this Halloween, and we can't exactly blame them. The woman certainly has a theatrical flair for costuming, and she seems to fit perfectly with Halloween. But anyone thinking about going whole hog (ha) and replicating her famous meat dress should think again.

The Hartford Courant spoke to a number of top medical experts who warned that, scarily, you might hurt yourself and your friends if you try out this trend. Most people assume that eating raw and undercooked meat is the only way to become ill. Normally we'd say that wouldn't be a problem, but on a drunken halloween night, some people might try to get to the goods however they can. But even if you retain your sobriety and don't try to eat your date's clothes, just touching the meat can cause a lot of damage.

Remember, this meat isn't straight out of the fridge, and unless you keep your party at 35 degrees, it's going to start getting rancid fast. As soon as bacteria begin to replicate (and with all of those sweaty bodies around, sources of infection won't be hard to find) the entire thing will become contaminated. All you would have to do, by the end of the night, is touch the dress and then touch your eyes or nose a few minutes later. Many meat-borne illnesses, including campylobacteriosis and toxoplasmosis, are very easily transmitted. They probably won't kill you, but they will make you very very unhappy. To be truly safe, everyone should wash their hands every 2 minutes. Or, you could attach a jug of hand sanitizer to your wrist. Better to just avoid this bad idea.