The Epic Battle of Oprah Vs. Snow: WHO WILL WIN?

By Karl Klockars in Arts & Entertainment on Apr 21, 2011 8:20PM

I'm sure Oprah's promo producers are just phoning it in at this point, but imagine what kind of fun they could have if they actually let loose for this episode. The Oprah Behind The Scenes show has documented exactly what kind of trials and tribulations The Almighty O had to put up with during February's Blizzaster, saying "Two shows hang in the balance and a super star guest goes missing. It's the most drama-filled hour yet!"

C'mon. We can do better than that. How about:

"Thrill! To the epic battle of "O" against snow!
Chill! To climate-controlled offices sheltered from the raging storm!
Witness! The horrors that come from having to traverse full blocks of Chicago!

Will Oprah make it to her Streeterville compound? Will she be inconvenienced for a single second while a city shivers around her? At what point will they resort to canniballism - or have they already? And what will occur when she stops trying to Live Her Best Life™ and simply starts trying to Live Her Snow-Free-iest One? Two forces of nature will do battle but only one will survive!"

This one might be worth watching. Just sayin'.