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More Lies We Tell Ourselves

By Staff in News on Apr 25, 2011 7:40PM

2011_4_25_liar.jpg We agree with many of the inclusions in Time Out Chicago's "Lies We Tell Ourselves" article. But we also believe that the story only scratched the surface. So we had had a meeting of the minds and came up with some more lies we tell ourselves. The may hit a bit more close to home.

"If it's good enough for Oprah..."
She's already moved on and only commutes to work in Chicago, and even that ends soon.

"We're hearty souls who can handle this weather."
Then why do people bitch about how it's still cold in April or too hot in August?

"Taste of Chicago is the highlight of the summer."
Crappy, over prices food from local "institutions" who've been trading on reputation alone for decades, crappy music acts and having to mingle with the sweaty masses in too tight a space to avoid inadvertent transfers of BBQ sauce, grease or sweat.

"The Bears are an O-line away from the Super Bowl."
And by the time Bears management addresses that weakness, they'll need linebackers and a new running back.

"That bus is completely full. But another bus will be along any minute now."
Ever wait 40 minutes for the Clark Street Bus only to have three come in succession and they're all full? Yup. Us, too.

"I wouldn't be caught dead at Navy Pier."
News flash: it's not just tourists who go there.

"I'd better make sure I do Early Voting this year--the place is going to be packed on Election Day."
The turnout for the recent mayoral election was just the latest disproving of that old lie.

"Things on the far South Side aren't really that bad."
You ever been to Englewood?

"The 'Circle Line/Gray Line' will be completed. Someday."
We'll have unnecessary high-speed rail to O'Hare first.

"The Uptown Theater will finally get a backer to rehab and reopen."
Meanwhile the rats are still its most loyal tenants.

"A 3-hour wait at Kuma's is totally acceptable."
Only if you eat one meal a day.

"A twenty dollar cab ride home from Metro, Schubas, etc., is acceptable."
So is taking the scenic route home.

"The bars in Boystown really are diverse and attract a wide-spectrum of gays."
Erm, no they don't.

"I'll make up for this 17th straight winter night of inactivity plus drinking with extra activity once summer comes."
And we'll make up for a summer of lazing about beer gardens with a gym membership in the winter.