Things Paris Hilton Should Never Say

By Karl Klockars in Arts & Entertainment on Jun 15, 2011 6:20PM

It's a match made in media heaven: Paris Hilton came to Chicago to promote her reality show that nobody watches, and she did so on Good Day Chicago, Fox's morning program that nobody watches. That huge whooshing sound you heard this morning was the event horizon of the television vacuum these two entities created today.

Paris opened this morning's interview by explaining that she did the show "so people will get to see the intimate side of my life." For what it's worth, when you get to talking about the "intimate side" of your life, nobody's thinking about your TV show anymore. We wouldn't be surprised to find that she was coached by a dozen media relations types to say exactly that, but whatever. Other takeaways: Corey McPherrin appears to have never seen any form of reality programming before ("So, you had cameras in your house and following you around 24/7?"), and Paris describes Chicago as reminding her "of New York, sort of, mixed with LA, a little bit." And, fin.

We watch it so you don't have to, people. Now that we've spent two hundred words talking about Paris we feel a little gross, so if you need us we'll be taking a Silkwood shower.