Where to Go When "Black Wednesday" Comes

By Chuck Sudo in Food on Nov 21, 2011 8:35PM

Image Credit: Curtis Locke

Urban Dictionary defines "Black Wednesday" — a term of which we aren't fond, by the way — as "the biggest party night of the year, to many." Once upon a time you'd have seen us holding up a bar, drinking our weight in alcohol because we knew we were spending the subsequent 12-18 hours with the family.

For service industry workers it's also a time to shave, put on their best bartending clothes, grin and collect the tips as fast as they can mix a Long Island Iced Tea. having tended bar on a few Black Wednesdays we feel pretty certain in saying most bartenders and waitresses don't want to be on the clock; at the very least they may want to be on the other side of the bar.

If you do insist on making a bartender's life hell Wednesday, here are some places that are hosting "Black Wednesday" parties. Drink in moderation, folks.

• Tzar Ultra Lounge "Black Out Affair" promises "a night of indulgent luxury." The River North nightlife destination will be surrounded by an alluring display of luxury black automobiles. Guests are invited to sip the bubbly during the hosted champagne reception from 10 p.m. - 11 p.m. (215 W. Ontario St.)
• The Southern (1840 W. North Ave.) will have Wild Turkey flowing like a flooding river with $5 Kickin' Chicken shots and free samples at 11 p.m. They'll also have $3 Coors Lights and a $40 wristband drink option from 9 p.m. - midnight.
• Both SmallBar locations (1415 W. Fullerton, 2049 W. Division) will be tapping their last keg of Southern Tier’s Pumking Imperial Pumpkin Ale, as well as bringing back the Pumpkin Whip cocktail for one night only! Beer specials will include $4 SmallBar Pale Ale and $4 Allagash. SmallBar Division will also be tapping Stone Brewing Co’s pumpkin beer, La Citrueille Celeste.
• Want to chow down on some turkey testicles? Then Timothy O'Toole's Turkey Testicle Festival is the place for you. The winner of the Turkey Testicle Eating Contest will receive a whole frozen turkey to prepare for their own Thanksgiving Day feast. For those who are less daring, but still willing to compete, the pub will hold a Pumpkin Pie Eating Contest at 11 p.m., with the winner receiving a $25 gift certificate. Chef Corey Grupe has prepared a bevy of appropriately themed menu specials, including a "bucket of balls" (deep fried turkey testicles with your choice of dipping sauce), an open faced hot turkey sandwich, turkey panini and slices of pumpkin pie. Complete menu specials are outlined below. Drink specials include $4 Jameson shots, $2 Miller Lite and Coors Light pints and half-price Guinness "Blacklist" drafts. The spirit of competition will continue throughout the evening, as all guest are welcome to enjoy complimentary pool, darts, Jumbo Jenga and board games. (622 N. Fairbanks Ct.)
• Division Ale House (1942 W. Division) hosts a Thanksgiving-Eve bash featuring a live DJ set from DJ Mozdefinite from 9 p.m.- 2 a.m. with no cover charge. All-day drink deals include $2 off all Irish whiskeys and $5 Guinness imperial pints. Food specials include $50 cent chicken wings.