Thursday Morning Diversion: There's Something About An Aqua Velva Man

By Chuck Sudo in Arts & Entertainment on Apr 5, 2012 4:20PM

Opening Day has us with baseball on the brain. While Bill Murray throws out the first pitch at Wrigley Field in an hour and the Cubs take the field for yet another "wait till next year season," we found ourselves thinking of Pete Rose's old Aqua Velva after shave commercials from the 1970s. Charlie Hustle always fancied himself as an everyman, which made him a perfect candidate for the perennial drugstore notion. In this commercial from 1977, Rose talks about what he's looking for in an after shave.

"No fancy perfumes. Or fancy bottles. Or fancy prices. Uh-uh. A man wants to smell like a man."

We always imagined a man like Pete Rose smelled like cigarettes, cheap Canadian whiskey and oily hands of a Russian mobster sent to smack him around a bit because he owed some gambling debts. (He did bet on baseball.)

Then there's this ad from 1979 where Rose, then a Phillie, and Joe Morgan discuss what after shave he's using, in a meeting of two of the more insufferable baseball players of the modern era. We're surprised Rose didn't try to take out Morgan sliding into second base.

Rose's singing the Aqua Velva tag line showed he didn't learn the first time he tried his hand at singing the jingle. (This ad features actor Vic Tayback, best known as Mel from the TV show Alice, interrupting a baseball game to ask Rose what a man wants in an aftershave. Try that today with Alfonso Soriano at the plate.)

There's something about an Aqua Velva man, alright.