Mayor Goose: Photos Of Rahm Emanuel With Children

By Samantha Abernethy in Arts & Entertainment on May 29, 2012 6:00PM

My, what large teeth you have, Mr. Mayor.

You see, Hansel and Gretel, there\'s this great little gingerbread house just down the street...

These fingers will be delicious.

How am I going to fit all of these in my grocery cart?

Quite the little feast we have here.

This sure is a nice little chicken wing. Should I go with a buffalo or a barbecue sauce?

Do I have anything in my teeth? I think I put too much cilantro on that last kid.

It\'s a deal. I\'ll use dill in the dressing, little businessman.

Just testing the cheeks to see if it\'s ripe.

You see, marinating is just like soaking in a pool except more delicious.

This kid looks scared, so Emanuel must\'ve suggested serving him up with brussel sprouts.

Is he at a farmers market? Well this is just too easy.

See, the recipe says to roast it for 45 minutes.

A high five to braised endive!

Ah, children. They are the future. They are our greatest natural resource. They say the darnedest things. And they are political pawns. Any political campaign starts with shaking hands and kissing babies. That's because there's something so endearing about a public figure posing with someone who could be a future leader. Someone who wears tiny socks. Someone who wears diapers and smells like poop. Someone who can't even vote for them.

In recent years more than one site dedicated to Barack Obama and kids has popped up, and last year the video of Obama soothing a crying baby went viral. That's because despite our efforts not to fall for the political pandering, babies are just so damn cute. Seriously, tiny socks.

Unlike the photos of Obama with kids, though, there's something odd about the ones of Mayor Rahm Emanuel. We know your schtick, politicians, and we're not falling for it this time. Or at least we're trying. So here are some photos from the mayor's Facebook page, and just for fun, in the spirit of our previous jokes about Emanuel's facial expressions, let's pretend Emanuel is planning to eat the children. If you have a caption idea, leave it in the comments.

Bonus: here's that video of Obama soothing a crying baby.