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Congratulations On The Creepiest Deal Ever, Groupon

By Samantha Abernethy in News on Jun 6, 2012 10:20PM


Have you ever wanted to be tucked into bed by a stranger? Well here's your chance!

Groupon is offering a deal today that pushes the boundaries of the forced-quirkiness of its sense of humor. It reads like an NSA Craigslist ad that we don't want to know the end of. Groupon writes:

Upon entering your bedroom, Ben Kobold immediately begins to analyze your linen seams and pillow placement, planning a tucking strategy as you enjoy a glass of water he has poured for you. After you hydrate, Ben’s sinewy, well-groomed fingers delicately raise each sheet and blanket over your body until you’re comfortably bundled. Careful not to disturb any children who may be in the adjacent room, Ben leans in and uses his summer-breeze-like voice to gently sing you one of the five lullabies he has authored.

Thanks for the nightmares, Groupon. There's something about the tenderness of a warm tuck-in that makes this extra weird. At least the controversial torture porn tour deal in San Francisco was educational. Is anyone surprised they've only sold two of these "tuck-ins" so far?

Plus, Groupon, this isn't really a "Deal." As you point out, the price is $100, but the value is also $100. We'd like to suggest the actual value is "Priceless."