Are KanyeDashian Terrorists?

By Kevin Robinson in Arts & Entertainment on Jun 27, 2012 9:00PM

The self-proclaimed Voice of a Generation might be more than just a great rapper and producer, if the allegations in a recently filed lawsuit (PDF here) are to be believed. The suit filed by Jonathan Lee Riches, who also happens to hold the Guinness World Record as “The World’s Most Litigious Man,”—he even sued Guinness Book of Records for making that claim—alleges that he, and of course all American citizens, are in danger of bodily harm from defendants Kanye West, Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian as well as two of the Jenners.

According to Riches, who filed the suit under the alias "Gino Romano" earlier in June, he (and let's assume all the quotes from the suit are [sic'd]) "was in West Virginia, deep in the hills and I stumbled upon the defendants who were all at an Al-Qaeda secret training camp,” where he witnessed West and the Kardashians pledge allegiance to al-Qaeda, burn an American flag, stomp on a picture of the President of the United States, and then (because all of this so far is totally believable) West performed a secret concert for the al-Qaeda operatives in attendance. The suit also alleges that West is a leader of Chicago's El Rukn street gang. (Are they even still around?)

Why Riches would file such a suit against both West and the Kardashians instead of, you know, calling the FBI, CIA or Homeland Security isn't totally clear, although he does claim in the court filings that not only does Kim Kardashian plan to make women's veils as part of her clothing line, "Khloe Kardashian has been cheating on Lamar with Zacarias Moussoui as prison pen pals and Bruce Jenner secretly helped al-Qaeda during the Berlin Olympics in 1973," and that Riches has "already escaped numberous assassination attacks by them on me including a McDonalds attack in Nashville, Disney World assault, and Busch Gardens jihad, and I barely escaped this episode because the defendants saw me spying on the al-Qaeda training, so Kim Kardashian launched a rocket at me... and Khloe Kardashian tried to behead me."

Given that it takes spending tens of thousands of dollars to get Kim kardashian's attention, maybe Riches has found a more cost-effective method of getting noticed by her. Pay attention, Romeos, her track-record with long-term relationships isn't so good, so your shot might be coming sooner than you think!