Petition Calls For Chick-Fil-A To Serve Only Heterosexual Chickens

By Anthony Todd in Food on Aug 3, 2012 3:00PM

Some of those good, God-fearing people who celebrated Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day on Wednesday may have been eating gay chickens. Well, sorta. Male chickens housed only with male chickens, according to a 1964 study from Virginia Tech, start displaying some rather gay tendencies. Now a tongue-in-cheek petition calls for Chick-Fil-A to only serve the straight chickens, properly reared with correct gender roles.

The petition, created by Stephen Hoffman of Ohio, cites other academic studies about the appearance of same-sex mating in other species. It takes Chick-Fil-A to task for its indifference to this pressing issue.

"But the harsh fact that Chick-fil-A ignores is that, as early as 1764, male chickens have been observed sexually mounting other cocks. How can Chick-fil-A claim to be truly committed to their selective and hateful misreading of the Biblical definition of marriage when the nearly 300 million sandwiches they sell yearly contain chickens, some or all of which might be gay?"

We got a kick out of this because it once again points out how ridiculous it is for a chicken company to wade into the politics of sexuality and because we can imagine certain people recoiling at the thought of eating a sinful, homosexual chicken. The petition currently has almost 2,000 signatures.

How to prevent this non-problem? Be sure to house chickens in mixed-sex environments. How do you do that? By hiring a chicken sexer, of course. No, seriously, you didn't know that was a thing? We couldn't stop thinking about this wonderful short from the geniuses behind Mystery Science Theater 3000 - "The Chicken of Tomorrow." The chicken sexing is around the six-minute mark.