Our Survival Guild For Watching The Meaningless Bears Preseason Finale.

By Rob Winn in News on Aug 30, 2012 4:30PM

As NFL fans know, the fourth preseason game is an exercise in futility. The stars never see the field and the game is played by fourth stringers who probably won't even make the team. But fear not pigskin lovers, you can still watch the game without being bored out of your skull. Here are a few activities to keep busy while Armando Allen carries the rock:

1. Watch Browns fans—specifically the "Dawg Pound"—go crazy for a team that has given them nothing but heartache for most of its existence. First there was John Elway's "The Drive" and then there's the fact that the real Cleveland Browns play in Baltimore. After watching the "Dawg Pound" get all worked up, laugh at Cleveland a little more by watching the YouTube classic "Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism" videos.

2. Now that Bears quarterback Josh McCown is in the game, the announcers will most likely rely on his mildly interesting story to keep fans entertained. So take a shot of your favorite booze every time the announcers mention that McCown was coaching high school football last year or that he's like having another coach on the field. This will surely last for the majority of the second and third quarter, so be prepared.

3. After a few shots, it's time to play a little paper football. Try to recreate every field goal attempt on your coffee table or counter. These guys won't be getting into the end zone very much so there should be plenty of opportunities.

4. Why are you still watching this game? Go out to your local watering hole for a little pre-Labor Day fun. It's going to be a nice night so try and pick one with a beer garden. After all, it is the unofficial end of summer and we have many months of cold temperatures and meaningful Bears football to look forward to.