From The Vault Of Art Shay: Some Election Day Thoughts
By Art Shay in News on Nov 7, 2012 7:00PM
(Legendary Chicago-based photographer Art Shay has taken photos of kings, queens, celebrities and the common man in a 60-year career. This week, Art shares some stories as he carries out his civic duty.)
Nov. 6, 2012 It is minutes before I go uptown to vote Barack Obama back into office—as perhaps half of you have done or not done—and try to wade through all the lies and truths I remember about the lesser candidates. (My God: the paper, printing and garbage industries are booming!)
But refreshingly there are a pair of stories thankfully unrelated to the election that catch these two weathered eyes, rounding out their 90 years of often-surprised service as I speak to my vast bloggerate; there's a third story I'll mention at the very end of this rollicking account.
The stories are in no way related to the election, but are strangely related to each other.
Koshik is a young male South Korean elephant. He has somehow learned to speak a few important words in clear Korean. This should help him get fast service in a Korean restaurant, and is also the link to the second story. Two of Koshik's words are: "Annyong" (which means "hello") and "Nuo"—"lie down".
I'm sure many Chicagoist readers, while trying to tune in debates, sermons or late night movies, have accidently flashed some of the scores of porn scenes accomplished in recent years without the transmission of a single STD. This is a heroic achievement by porn industry leaders and bottom feeders such as producer Shylar Cobi and the hard-breathing actors playing James Deen and the concupiscent Stoya. Cobi is a much respected observer of alarming sex-disease symptoms. He doesn't have time to study medicine. So what. No movie VD has been discovered. He's batting an even thousand!
To keep all this in perspective is the third election day story: Scientists have finally learned how to collect the light that stars, long dead, emitted 5 to 10 billion years ago. On an interest scale of zero to one, this puts the entire US election process where it belongs: in a space we never knew we cared about. With so much real drama going-on, who really cares if ultimate bad weather prevails; if a pre-programmed Supreme Court appears; if some old elephants say "Hello” and “Lie Down" so they can mess around legally with the vaginas of 100 percent of our 47 percent of defenseless females. For that matter, who really cares where Jeeps are made except for Ohio voters who Romney helped in his own way; or what passes for the next Bear miracle; whether Romney had two or three Mexican Grandfathers, if Obama, flushed with narrow victory, graciously sends his birth certificate, high school civics notes and throws in a Bar Mitzvah video to Donald Trump. Or if Trump goes belly-up. And for that matter who wins the Washington election Oscar with the real thing coming up in February. As Kosik observed, "Annyong" and "Nuo". "Hello" and "lie-down."
If it's a tie, I'm moving my assets to the Cayman Islands.
If you can't wait until this time every Wednesday to get your Art Shay fix, please check out the photographer's blog, which is updated regularly. Art Shay's book, Chicago's Nelson Algren, is also available at Amazon.