The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

Video: How Many Boogers Can This Woman Eat On The "L"?

By Lauren Evans in News on Jun 25, 2013 8:31PM


This morning, some of us lamented the existence of people who wear flip flops on the subway, because that, we thought, was gross. But this morning, we were children, mere prisoners in a cave—we thought we knew "gross," but our experiences, until now, were only a shadow of gross, a mere reflection of disgusting reality.

Witnessing this epic nose picking/eating video—courtesy of Alex C. and Giselle R. via— was like leaving the cave, to extend this tortured metaphor further. It's not NSFW, per se, but it's definitively NSFYS, EIYPOE. (Not Safe For Your Stomach, Especially If You Plan On Eating.) Our intern, Marc "I Don't Have This 'Anything For Journalism™' Tattoo On My Lower Back For Nothing" Yearsley bravely counted the instances of nosepicking, which totaled, ultimately, 14, noting also that the video begins in medias res, meaning she could have been going for hours before someone finally caught on.

Having watched the video, what you're feeling now is called the Kü-booger-Ross Stages of Grief, and probably not an insignificant amount of nausea. Both feelings are normal. Let's walk through them together:

Denial: No she DID NOT just put that booger in her mouth. No. No. NOOOO. (Yes.)

Anger: Why would anyone do this? We expect this sort of thing on the NYC subways, where people lick their shoes and put rats in their mouths, but this video appears to be shot in Chicago, a city that will no doubt be henceforth known as the Snotty City. THANKS, LADY.

Bargaining: "If she stops, I promise I will never click on a video I've been warned not to watch again."

Depression Vomiting: "It’s important to understand that this depression vomiting is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. We withdraw from life, left in a fog of intense sadness, wondering, perhaps, if there is any point in going on alone? Why go on at all? Depression Vomiting after a loss is too often seen as unnatural: a state to be fixed, something to snap out of...To not experience depression vomiting after a loved one dies would be unusual." (Source:

Acceptance: Unfortunately, you won't reach this. I saw this video for the first time around 20 minutes ago, and honestly, I still don't feel quite right.