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The French Are Coming For Our Sausages

By Anthony Todd in Food on Jun 28, 2013 3:00PM

The deli case at Publican Quality Meats.
By "our" sausages, we really mean Publican Quality Meats' sausages. Sacre Bleu! Invaders! The French consulate sent Paul Kahan's fabulous meat shop a scary note. We hope it began, "Bonjour, you slimy American," but we suspect it just said "Good day."

DNA Chicago reports that a particular type of sausage, the "morteau," actually has a protected name. Sort of like Champagne, a morteau is a smoked sausage that has to come from the Morteau region of France. Apparently, if PQM doesn't shape up, it'll be the guillotine for all of them.

So, PQM has decided to host a naming contest on their facebook page. Our favorites so far?

  • Call it Champagne
  • Illegal French Sausage
  • Freedom Sausage
  • Chicago's mor-teau'in the line
  • Overly-Sensitive Small French Commune Sausage
  • Kahan't Touch This
  • Saucisse-and-Desist

Someone call Abe Froman, stat.